价值观之战-2)Who is the girl I see

我再次确定,生病和疼痛可以使人活得深刻。

最近我一直在苦苦思索一个问题:人的价值究竟是什么。我怎样看待我的价值,将决定我如何过这一生,决定我人生的方方面面。

过去很喜欢《花木兰》的那首主题曲。同一段歌词,之前喜欢的原因是:感觉在这个世界有时保持真实会很受伤,有时仿佛必须学会一些虚假。故此生出这样的感叹,与歌词很有共鸣:
I am now In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

There’s a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think How we feel
Must there be a secret me I’m forced to hide

但今日的我却觉得,不要说社会有时不喜欢真实,连我自己,有时也不敢面对真实。Who is the girl I see, staring straight, back at me. When will my reflection show, who I am inside? (我所望,那是谁?凝视我,目光颤。镜中像何时能呈现,我究竟是谁?)

过去很希望活得真实,仿佛活出真我便是一切,仿佛不受各种捆绑桎梏便是自由。但如今我发现,当我可以活出真我时,可能更加痛苦。因为我的本相远没有我想象的那么美丽,那么纯洁,那么善良——真我的种种丑恶种种冷漠种种贪婪种种不堪,真实到一个地步,我竟然不敢面对真实的自己。

人在欺骗别人面前,其实首先欺骗的,是自己。

谁又真的了解自己呢?谁看自己不是仿佛拿着铜镜揣摩,模糊不清呢?

若有一天耶稣把我的真相指示给我看,虽然他仍旧可以那么温柔,那么慈悲,那么宽容——希望那时的我,不要觉得太过惊讶,与羞愧!

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know
Must I pretend that I’m
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

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聆听Reflection:
youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnXTH88AHqM
tudou:http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/lNA7Zrj6VFI/

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